Just A Little Something / Let's Talk About Sex / Relationships

Infidelity… A Poll


After a lengthy discussion with a friend who’s actually experiencing this right now, it prompted me to ask myself would I continue my firm stance on leaving if my hubby cheated.  I realize people make mistakes and no one is perfect.  I even know how to forgive but there’s something about infidelity that I’m quite inflexible on.  I am unable to trust you after that so for me the answer is yes, I would leave.  I’ve been cheated on 3 times in the past.  The first time, I tried to stay but 2 weeks later I couldn’t ignore that I no longer trusted him.  I mean it was completely gone.  When the other two cheaters came into my life, I broke up with them immediately just like I told them I would.  It’s funny… they still reach out to a sister every now and then to this very day (tee-hee).  It’s been a long time ago since those events took place, but if my hubby cheated… that would be the end of it.  I doubt I’ll ever change my view.  But what do you say? I’d also be curious to know what would be your “deal breaker” if cheating isn’t it?  Please feel free to share.

THE POLL FOR MEN:

 

THE POLL FOR WOMEN:

6 thoughts on “Infidelity… A Poll

  1. Hello Lady, this is the hardest question ever I was just talking to my counselor who has is doctorate in Psychology and I just get that men think that they are allowed to cheat on every level. Now as a women who does not believe that her mind and soul should have to take a beating just to be loved this is a very hard reality. How do you raise strong minded and women if our everyday society makes us believe that we are no valuable to be love properly. How do you raise a nation of strong capable women if the average man in this society feels that it is ok to cheat constantly making the women around you feel only valuable as a sex commodity?

    Yes I do think that marriage should be forever but it should also be value about random sex and easy accessible people. Marriage gets all of the negative stigma while the people in marriage get none of the responsibility to be accountable for there actions. As a woman in this society I found that very hard to accepts and it really is effected my confident to feel like I can be a strong women with decent boundaries and strong loving relationships.

    Why doesn’t the world see that we do our daughters and women such a dis-service my making believe and too only see themselves as someone else play thing or a moment or reckless pleasure I know some people might think that I sound like a prude but reality I am trying to stand up and believe in something stronger and that I deserve better in my life. No real loving parent raises there children to believe that there biggest value is there sex organs.

    Even hard working men with higher education don’t value marriage.

    • Hi there lady! I can’t say that I disagree with you here. Cheating makes the victims’ (man or woman) self-esteem shoot down to zero and combine that with the trust that’s been breached… I don’t know how people survive it. I may love yo azz, but I WILL leave if you cheat on me. Men (for example) should want to protect their wives from any pain or hurt, not be the source of it. What I can’t figure out is why don’t people try to talk things through before the cheating ever happens? If something is missing, how will it ever get fixed if the couple hasn’t tried to address it? I just think cheating is extremely selfish and there’s a sociopaths quality to it when a person can look you dead in the eye with a straight face and LIE.

      While I do think men have been taught not to value marriage as much as women I know that women cheat too. According to a stat I ran across, 50% of married men AND women cheat. It just seems that people are ‘playing’ married instead of really being committed to it. I’ve got a theory why but I’m trying to hold that back until I get this book finished! 😉

      So can I gather from your comment that cheating is your “deal breaker” too?

      • Hey Lady Happy New Years

        Well when I was younger cheating was very much a deal breaker because I am not and have never been a cheater. Cheating usually is my deal breaker but after being cheated on and having a three years of separation I realized that I still cared for him deeply and now we are back together and working through it all. I am finally coming out of all of the hurt and pain and seeing the sun come out after the storm. Now I can say and see that he has learned some lesson and gain some knowledge on how our very own action create a lot of destruction. It seems to me that the average man has no idea how he has hurt you not until he still that you no longer want to be bothered with him because of what he did. My mother has always told me that it takes a man while to learn the difference between a good vs. the available woman at the moment. I mean so many people in this world learn so many wrong concepts when it comes to having good relationships with the people that enter into your life. It seems to me that to receive good love you often have to show people what is good love. So many people don’t seem to have clue on how to treat people. I talk to a lot of men and often I get the perception that most men don’t even feel that a woman has the right to choose them for good and responsible reasons; it seems like they want us to be just like them jump first and think later. Well sorry man I just don’t choose to live that way and require myself to always use what is called my critical thinking skills. On that note I have a right to judge the person that I allow to walk into my life and I have the right to require things from you that you may not be use to or expect because having a real relationship is going the extra mile and giving more then you expected too. How will you even know the fabric of a person if they are not willing to give or change to create new life? For much is giving and much will be required to me having no boundaries at all is a very dangerous place to be.

        Any way Happy New Years and how hope that we both have some wonderful things in store for us this year.

      • Happy New Year’s, lady! Haven’t chatted with you since last year! hahaha

        Nicely stated, Resurrected!!! And for the first time, I may actually re-think my stern stance. I’ve known some people haven’t been given the proper blueprint for relationships, but you made an interesting point. You and your beau broke up then reunited years later. It reminded me of an encounter with one the men who’d cheated on me 12 years prior. I ran into him one day and much to my surprise, he wanted to apologize for the way he’d treated me. I was actually shocked but I could sense that he had grown over those past 12 years. Something like that might actually have a chance at renewing itself. Thanks for the new perspective! This is why I like exchanges so thank you for sharing!

        I also hope your new year will be spectacular, my friend! 🙂

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