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White Men and Black Women… guess who’s not afraid?: The Experiment


People who’ve stopped by the blog in the past already know I have dated outside of my race, to include white men.  I know a lot of white men are definitely attracted to black women.  I also know that some black women are attracted to white men.  And although they are coming together, it’s not nearly at the rate of say, black men and white women.  I was curious to see if white men still dig us like I think they do, so I created a fake account with a singles website and posted my ad.  Are you sitting down?  I received over 85 replies within 17 minutes!  Ladies, don’t believe the hype– white men LOVE black women!

Here’s another tidbit… white men who date (and marry) black women have no issues with our natural hair.  Let me repeat that… if you don’t have a perm or weave and your hair is natural, white men actually don’t care!  That’s more than I can say for some brothers, sadly.  I remember this one dude told me that one of the reasons that black men are “abandoning” the black woman was although “we’ve got it all physically, our hair is our downfall”.  So sad.  But on the other hand, a white man could care less.  WTF?  And here’s something cool…

Some of them (more than half) sent pics with their replies and you may be shocked to find how many fine ass white guys could be living in your neck of the woods.  Single and looking for sistas.  They were professional to blue collar, young and old (an 18 year old sent his pic).  For some, “they’ve always wanted to meet a black woman”, but for others (lots of others) black women are their preference.  I hope you’re not thinking; “who knew?”  Well, I did.  Within 12 hours my mailbox had filled with a total of 227 messages.  Question for the single black women– think it might be time to broaden your horizons, yet? ;)  A special question to all the white men who’ve “always wanted to meet a black woman”… what’s stopping you? :)

I don’t know whether it’s been pure ‘luck’ but every white man that I dated was kind, supportive and loving towards me.  And please get it out of your minds that all white men have small tally-wackers or are not good in the sack!  I’ve also met a few brothers along the way that either couldn’t fit a condom (walking around life with toddler-sized penis) or had no clue in the bedroom.  All black men are NOT sexual Mandingos or hung like a horse! (lol)  ‘Myths’ are a trip, aren’t they?

188 thoughts on “White Men and Black Women… guess who’s not afraid?: The Experiment

  1. Hi there,

    I’m not a White man or a Black woman, but I am fascinated by the topic. As a Black man living in an area where White man/Black woman couples are totally accepted, and having moved from a place where Black man/White woman couples were considered the first sign of the fall of man, I have to admit that I was very uncomfortable with it at first. Particularly when I saw dark and lovely Victoria Dillard looking sisters with Kid Rock looking White guys. But after five years, all I can say is: if you can pull a sister that fine, I can’t hate on you. I’ve even encouraged middle-aged and older Black women in the area. I tell them, “Girl, by age 35 you’ve been dating half your life. If you haven’t found a good brother yet, go get you a White man.” The mixed coupled I may see during a trip to the mall range from late teens to late 50’s… and all the sisters look happy when they look at their man. They sometimes look around uneasily to see who is watching, but when they look back at their man, it’s all good. In the end, that’s all that really matters.

    • Well, hi there! I’m flattered that you found it fascinating.

      “Girl, by age 35 you’ve been dating half your life. If you haven’t found a good brother yet, go get you a White man.” That’s what I’m saying, man. And to the white men I add, “Women are all the same so stop acting like you’re at a cotillion”. And thank you– I’ve always wanted to know her [Dillard] name. I had to google her but I remember her in that movie with Denzel. She’s so pretty to me and I can see Kid managing that. I don’t like his long hair but it does work for him. Plus I know he’s dated sisters in the past so that makes sense to me– more likely to be genuine too. “… considered the first sign of the fall of man,”– that’s interesting. Why would that be? Just curious.

      This little experiment was not entirely about getting others to accept interracial dating, it was more about getting two groups of single people who are attracted to each a nudge. I personally think some of these single sisters (to start) may have lowered their standards a bit too. Why not take a chance on a man that might actually cherish you if a brother is only giving out “leftovers” of whatever he offers [emotionally/physically] yet you stick around? And for the white guys who’ve always wanted to meet/date a black woman, if you’re apprehensive about approaching a black woman that you are genuinely attracted to– “you have been a victim of stereotypes and taboos. Women are the same– it’s just the hues that are different. Shyt, ask any man! hahaha There are so many available single accomplished sisters in the U.S. that it’s ridiculous. We are not what society has ‘drilled’ into you, not by any stretch of the imagination. But hey– if single and lonely works for you, more power to ya'”!

      Thanks again Dwane T for stopping by and even commenting! I’ve read one of your articles so I’m almost giddy that you’d be fascinated. Got a sista’ blushin’ n’ shyt! (tee hee)

      • Well, to be honest with you, this is far from the first time I’ve stopped through. I love the topics you take on, and your take on those topics. Sometimes I just like to watch, but since you were so gracious to share with me I thought I would let you know I liked what I read as well.

        I remember in my office listening to a conversation in the classroom next door a few years ago where some late teen and twenty-something sisters were talking about who was “fine”. They went through Jah Rule, Tank, Genuwine and a few others. Then one girl said, “Justin Timberlake”. The guys busted out laughing, and the girl said, “Don’t hate on the White boys… White boys is comin’ up!!! I was waiting for the other girls to jump on her, but instead they all agreed that JT was fine. I was shocked. Not that they liked him, but that they admitted it. At that moment I knew things were changing.

        As far as the “considered the first sign of the fall of man” comment, the city I lived in previously was a highly segregated northern city. Crossing color lines for politics was dangerous, so for dating it was taboo… and least on the “East Side”. It was so bad that you could go to an event where there were 100 Black couples, and the minute a Black man walked in with a White women all the sisters would be furious… even the ones attending with black men. It’s quite an experience taking a sister to an event and having her tell you that the problem with you and other Black men is that you all want White women. Fortunately I didn’t have that experience in other places. The city I live in now you even see sisters with Asian men, which was unheard of only a few years ago. There are definitely other factors that can impede a relationship much more than race at this point. Give anyone who is willing to treat you well a chance.

      • Well, DAMMIT SON! (smiles) I’m totally blushing now! (tee hee). Thanks for the kind KUDOS, it’s really nice to know! :)

        “… “Don’t hate on the White boys… White boys is comin’ up!!! ” hahaha— that’s cute! “…. At that moment I knew things were changing.”, for me, white men have always dug my ass even as a teenager. The first white guy that had a crush on me was when I was 14 (I turn 50 in a hot minute) so this is actually old news. ;)

        Asian, huh? I’ve never dated one but I remember “Tootie” from Facts of Life married a fine ass Asian dude– been curious about them every since. (tee hee). It’s unfortunate you had that experience in such a mean way, though I can understand what I think some black women feel. As I mentioned in previous comment, some brothers do have a bit of self-hate going on when they exclude their own kind. I won’t speak for all sisters, but I think the black woman does feel abandoned by some of our men. But to the ladies out there, shyt… don’t despair– just add a lil’ cream to your coffee!;) “Give anyone who is willing to treat you well a chance.” Uhm… can the church just say AMEN?!

    • Am 35 years old and been dating black guys since! But now I’ve met this white guy oh! He’s everything a girl could ask for a boyfriend and more! I don’t think I’ll go back again, I”ll rather be alone!

      • Hi p, sorry for the delay… major internet problems.

        I love that you’ve met a wonderful man that is treating you like you deserve! I’m so disappointed with some brothers for treating us like shit! Taking us for granted, leaving us to be single mothers, the whole nine yards. They will have to atone for their behavior one day because that is NOT manhood. I call that chicken shit. I do love that some white guys love, cherish and honor us (not the creeps who just have ‘jungle fever’ though). And I rather be alone than allow any man to mistreat me. Black, white, green or yellow. I love myself too much to ever be abused, misused by a dude. Congratulations on the new love, p! :)

      • :) Here’s an interesting tidbit you guys might find interesting… I read recently that black women and white men stay married longer than black men and white women. Who knew? :)

    • Yr so right my friend, my lovely lady is a beautiful,dark skinned beauty, and I’m an Irish,Pale,Red head that’s”packing” Down low, YKWIS ! So we def.get stared at.But as .mentioned at the end of the night, it’s us together, staring at each other!

  2. Don’t believe that hype should be the new message for the 20/21 century. After watching your other clip about the manipulations and lies of the media why should we believe all of the hate? I go on plenty of blogs and there is so much black-on-black hate and goes on mostly with black men aimed towards black woman. So many people are being brainwashed to hate themselves.

    I have no problem with dating a white man but I am not one of those I love all of white men people only to throw shade to my black brothers. When I hear the average black man talk about their interest in white women I never hear any substance, it’s as if they are all following each other or the media hype and at the end of the day fooling themselves. I never hear a brother give a good reason to dating outside of his race other than the same complaints that the media loves to put out there about black women. I just hope that white men who do like or love black women have a lot of substance for there preferences then the average black men have for liking white women. If a white man can love me and respect me enough to treat me right and value me as a person (meaning not always trying to put me in a box) then I will and can be open to having exploring new found relationships. So many brothers like to try to break women down with media perpetuated stereotypes. I mean a lot of black people are already mixed with something like my grandfather is Native American 1 of my nephew is mixed with black and white so it is not so uncommon really.

    • “When I hear the average black man talk about their interest in white women I never hear any substance, it’s as if they are all following each other or the media hype and at the end of the day fooling themselves.” That is my only pet peeve with SOME black men who date interracial yet exclude their own kind from their dating pool! That’s when you know it’s not of substance. And there certainly are a pool of white men out there who are just as disingenuous and lack depth. I’ve certainly had my fair share of some of them assuming I was this overly sexual, sex Goddess, freak-nasty, dirty-girl (those mvthafvkas tickled the shyt out of me). Let’s face it, at their base, some men truly can be pigs which by the way has nothing to do with race! In other words, we’re all the friggin’ same.

      I can’t disagree with any of your comments– there’s definitely a big break in our fiber as a race. “So many brothers like to try to break women down…” it’s sad but painfully true. It’s staggering to realize that some black man behave that way towards a black woman. “I just hope that white men who do like or love black women have a lot of substance”, they certainly do– I can attest to my experience. Again, not sure if it was ‘luck’, but they all treated me with respect. I was lucky enough to have dated white men who had either truly saw no colour but had never dated a black woman before or the ones who preferred us or dated all races of women. For those types, single black women would be fools not to at least have dinner and see if ‘you click’.

      • “I was lucky enough to have dated white men who had either truly saw no colour”

        I have heard that over and over, typically from people who do make color based statements. I look at my wife and say I can’t avoid seeing her color. The difference is, not seeing color as a negative. To ignore her color would insult her. Black is not just her skin color, but part of who she is.

        She started life in a world where discrimination was not only legal, but often mandated by law. As did I, from the other side. We lived through a time when this country went from Jim Crow to the Civil Rights Act. From “What about the children” to not only inter-racial marriage is accepted, but portrayed on TV.

        Then I was able to see her go to bed the night of Nov 2, 2008, then come out of the bedroom saying she was unable to sleep, and “I never thought I would live to see this day”.

        So, yes, I see color. The point is to appreciate it, not ignore it.

      • @Robert Klahn Sylvania Ohio, I must give you KUDOS; “I look at my wife and say I can’t avoid seeing her color. The difference is, not seeing color as a negative. To ignore her color would insult her. Black is not just her skin color, but part of who she is.”… thank you for making the proper distinction! Seriously… nicely stated! :) It was a poor way to convey that but I suppose I’ve been ‘programmed’ as well to speak in terms that limit instead of expand without actually realizing it. Again, point well received so thanks for the clarity so that the message is conveyed more effectively!!!

        Feels kinda odd to be able to reflect and state; “I never thought I would live to see the day” doesn’t it? ;)

      • Hi There, Sorry I just happened across this site and have to say as a white male, I have much more respect for Black, Asian and Hispanic women than I could ever have for a white woman. White woman just seem to want to play games and move on to their as you might say next victim. I am 50 years old and have had much more success so to speak with women that aren’t white and stuck on themselves. Sorry for butting in there.
        Sincerely, D.W.

  3. Out of curiosity for your experiment–what websites did you use? Also are you in a city or metropolitan area? Oh and also, did you use pictures of slim or slender women?

    • Hi there!

      I actually don’t think it would matter which site people use– just post “Black Woman seeking a White Man”, that’s what I did! And I’m on the outskirts of a metropolitan area. I actually used a picture of an interracial couple (black woman/white man of course)– jotted a little note and then BAAMMM! Fine ass white guys out the wa-zoo! hahaha

      My hubby and I were chatting about it the other night and he dropped an idea in my head so I’ll be doing a follow-up entry utilizing Craigslist. I see that they have a Personals section…

  4. Hey, Jazz. I caught your live broadcast this morning and just had to chime in on this topic. You know I’m already a “fan” and have been digging the topics you’ve been covering but, hey, I’ve really got to hand it to you for bringing this up. As a single white man who has dated (and always been attracted to) black women, I mainly just want to thank you for putting the word out there to the sisters to just consider us as an option. To be honest, even though I have dated black women, I’m still a bit shy in approaching them because I’m not sure if I’m going to be shut down before I even get out of the gate, if you know what I mean. From personal experience, I know there are black women who are receptive to us but that there are also many who are not. I was encouraged to see that there are websites which target interracial dating and I think that this situation is something that will continue to evolve and gain increasing acceptance. (It is interesting that black men/white women is much more prevalent.) I really like the fact that you actually did an “experiment” and, once again, just wanted to thank you for bringing this up and putting it out there. I do believe that it is just these types of discussions that help to facilitate change.

    • You’re kidding?! So it actually recorded?! The damn screen told me it didn’t! Freakin’ blogtalk!!!!! UGH! I just deleted it and am about to record it again!!!! FUCK!!!!!!! lol. I’ll hit you back in a minute…

      ++++++

      Hi man! It’s so cool of you to stop by here and thank you for the kind words, man! I can’t believe it recorded (lol). “… but that there are also many who are not.”… hey– it’s their loss! And I happen to know you’re a cutie pie!;) You mentioned being a bit shy, I’m trying to figure out why? Why are men so “shattered” (for lack of a better word) when they are rejected by a STRANGER? Are the women sometimes overly rude or something?

      I was surprised to see that there are interracial dating sites! I actually thought I’d never live to see the day so that’s a beautiful thing. I just think that if we put the topic out there maybe those crazy myths can be put to rest. Because really, some white guys just dig us and there’s no need for some of these sisters to be lonely or alone!

      • Hey. Yeah, I caught the live broadcast which came through just fine. As a matter of fact, it started to replay at the end of the hour so it looks like it did, in fact, record.

      • “Because really, some white guys just dig us and there’s no need for some of these sisters to be lonely or alone!”

        There was a bit on some news program a few years back, worked around a black woman, a lawyer, and cheerleader for a pro-football team. The gist of it was what you are talking about. Now, if you can get this out to her and her friends you might just make a few sisters a bit less lonely and alone.

      • @ Robert Klahn Sylvania Ohio

        “Now, if you can get this out to her and her friends you might just make a few sisters a bit less lonely and alone.”… hahaha. I haven’t seen that program but I’ll try to check for it. I can imagine the on-air exchange though… lol I’m only trying to send the message to people who are open already ie; curious, nervous, un-easy, “taboo’d-efied” (haha), not looking to engage any tough nuts– that’s too much damn work! lol

  5. my question: if black men aren’t marrying you then what makes you think that white men will? just because a white man shows interest means nothing beyond him wanting to sample some of that “chocolate” that his ancestors were privy to during slavery. black women are fooling themselves if they think that its anything more.

    and yes, i’m a white man. i’ve dated quite a few black women and let me tell you…most of you are great — in bed. would i marry one? no. thats what white women are for. my grandfather once told me to never spoil my seed and i dont intend on ever doing that. you all are more delusional that white women!

    • While you are certainly entitled to your opinion I know that you are wrong. My first marriage proposal was from a white man. I also know quite a few couples where the husband is white and adores his black wife. And black men do marry us as well. This concept is not for the prejudice or racist mindset so of course you’re unable to see past your ‘grandpappy’s’ point of view. Just to encourage you to join us in the millennium, check out this link: http://bglhonline.com/2010/04/love-is-in-the-hair-giveaway/. It’s not only is one of many sites but it promotes black women wearing their natural hair and the variety of men (including white) who love, cherish and marry us. There are men of all races all over the globe who love and marry black women.

      I wonder if those black women you bedded know how you truly feel? I personally would have sniffed you out and you never wouldn’t have ‘sampled my chocolate’. This is a first for Why O’ Why, but you “gorgeous george”, are an asshole.

      • Amen to that yoy50…… LOL! My great-grandfather was one of those assholes. That doesn’t mean we have to carry on that narrow way of thought.

    • If you think for a second that it is believed that you are a ‘white man” then you have only fooled yourself.
      and for the record, there are PLENTY of white men marrying black women. i personally know ppl and I’ve surprisingly seen many celebrities as well.
      here are just a few picture examples:

      http://bfinterracialmarriage.blogspot.com/

      • You tell ‘em, Lisa! Although I’m sure ‘georgie” will never come this way again! hahaha

        Loved the link, by the way! :)

    • I just like to have a shout out to all the BLACK Women. I’m a white male from England and I have a wet shave head and beard with loads of tattoos. I honestly believe that I’m more evolved then the average man. I may have the old school look of a racist but in fact I just rock this look. It looks at its best when I’m holding hands with a Bootyiful women ;) The point I’m trying to make is I’ve known for a very long time who are the most exciting women on these plant are. I’m 28 years old and I still remember the 1st black girl I ever saw….. I was only 5 years old at a wedding and it hit me hard…. I didn’t know what was a matter with me. Because of that moment I never fancied a white girl while growing up. Some people thought I might be gay because They thought I didn’t like females. The truth was that Black girls were rare in my area and nobody understood me. So for the last 12 years I’ve been converting all these brain washed white guys to think out the box and stop following tv and magazines. Now where I come from loads of white guys are loving the TURKISH Delight!. One day very soon every white guy is going to want one lol.

      Just a tip for the white man who is new to this…. Don’t be scared of her power and strength because if you can make a black women fall in love with you… then there is No greater power!!!

      Just a tip for the black women…. If a white guy keeps staring at you. 95% of the time its because he likes you!!! but us white guys are shy and most will not dare talk to you because your black. its hard to explain but all guys get nervous around women more so with black women. I promise if you bootyiful girls just give a signal then you will have the white men lining up to date you.

      Back to why I think I’m more evolved then normal men. I’m really looking forward to becoming a father one day. I think about it alot and what would my child be like? I believe you should always want the best for your children. So first I’m have to choose the other half of her genetic code. I also believe you should take someone from one side of the planet and mix them with the other. This will make the most perfect baby and something to be proud of. If I had my way then every black women would have a white husband.

      BLACK WOMEN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL X X X

      • im a48yo white man and allways wanted to be with a beautiful black women now that i think about growing up in indy when i was in like 5or 6th grade i realey wanted a black girl in my class and she aked like she was into me but do to some thing i still dont know why but never did hook up but hell we was 12 or 13 yo to young to have sex but i sure did want to and im sure she did to but since then i have had ben luckey to been with two black women but it was just sex but the best i have had in mylife and want more than just sex with them i want to marry one i hope i will get the guts to ask one im shy with any women black white or any ccoller but black women are sexy than white by a long shot and better in bed to because in my thinking is that thay want to the men to be satusfide just want to put my two cents in please excuse my speeling u have a good day bobby

  6. I was stalling on twitter trying to find something to cure my boredom – and WHAM – someone I follow tweeted this post. Now, I am not quite as bored. Thanks for posting great material. – Frisbee

  7. I dont think gorgeous george is really a white man. Sure we obviously know there are some white men that wouldnt marry us but it just seems odd that one thinking that would bother even posting here. Plus what he said just sounded fake. Sounds more like a black man pretending to be a white man in order to make black women feel insecure.

    • Hi Dascia and thanks for stopping by and even joining the discussion!

      You might be right about that lame ass george character disguising himself as a white guy but even if he was purple, he’s a purple ass-hole! lol I got the strong sense that he was trying undermine our choices for dating, or attempting to imply that we are less than, so I had to politely put him in check. I just wanted to send a message that love is out there for anyone who doesn’t see colour. I like a good debate and even a difference of opinion but his comment was rude and misleading because I know too many white men who do not share his view. Black women are the ‘baddest’ creatures of the land and lots of men (of any colour) knows that! (smile)

      Love, peace soul (TRAIN)! :)
      Jazz

    • You sure don’t seem insecure. You say there are *SOME* white men who wouldn’t marry you. That implies you believe there are more who would. Well, I believe you are right. I know my wife agrees with you, as you know if you have read this thread.

      Rock on Dascia. More power to you.

  8. It’s the call of the wild…Nature calling her best and brightest to blend outside their DNA – keeping it real, making it fun and best of all, letting us make our own choices for mating. Takes a lot of intelligence too…

    • Hi Cinnamongirl!

      Well, I’m not entirely sure how to “read” your comment. Are you one who believes that mixing DNA is a bad thing? And I agree, dating does take intelligence.

      I would like to say, although I’ve never seen race, my physical preference has always been a tall, dark-skinned black man but there was a period (in my experience) where several brothers were really not ‘lovin’ sisters. I didn’t buy the hype– I know there was a divide going on (at least where I was living) and I simply accepted invitations from men who were attracted to me. If they were white or Moroccan, it didn’t matter to me if there was a genuine (mutual) attraction. Why not break bread or catch a movie? (smiles) I can also say that while I was dating during that period, my single black girlfriends remained dateless for quite a while as they were holding out for a black man. In that city (back then), the ratio of black men to black women was 9 to 1.

  9. I love this. I have always dated within my race but I have decided to explore outside my race. Two of my exes are dating outside of our race and their relationships are going fine. So after examining my life, and asking “alot” of questions it dawned on me that I am limiting myself….so I am stepping out. Wish me luck! :)

    • This is sooooo cool, Zyhane! Thank you for commenting (sorry for the delay– had to got out of town suddenly). And you know what? I think you’ll do just fine! My personal advice would be to treat ALL “men” the same. They have always been trying to get into out panties so don’t ignore that thought just because it’s another race. Men are rare, but males with hard-ons are a dime a dozen! hahahaha

      I do know (now that I’m looking back) that men will be hounds/pigs if we allow them. Treat ALL men the same (by whatever your standard is), but I did enjoy my time with men (when I was single) vs. males. Step out with excitement and enjoyment but never forget… they are still the opposite sex. White might not be right, Morrocan ain’t always rockin’, and Black can definitely be wack. BUT… when colour is erased you still have a male and good men are really hard to uncover these days. :) I’m not ashamed to admit this, but where I might have made a black man (I really liked) wait for the roll in the hay for about 5-6 months. My standard rule for anyone outside of my race– maaan… they had to wait for damn near a year! It was my way to assess if they were RESPONSIBLE/HONORABLE men and I seem to have been lucky with that approach. Just an FYI but I’m glad this article has touched you in a way that if you are single, there’s really no need to limit the race of your partner. If we (as women of any race) are fortunate enough to find a ‘man’ that will love, cherish, honor, respect or protect us… race should never be a factor. My philosophy has always been, all males are all the same but true men are those rare finds! I’d love to hear how your ‘adventure’ is unfolding. If I can get your permission, I’d love to send you a few snap shots of some few men who sent their pics in for this experiment. I don’t know how old you are, but there’s one (maybe 5) cuties that sent pics in for this research that I’d love to hook up! One, who is a military man who is just the bees-knees! (smiles)

      I’m wishing you well and I’d love to hear any updates on how things are going (especially since you’re taking the leap). What I liked most about my dating experience with men of other races most is, they are just a shy as anything! You can set the tone quite easily. I highly recommend dating a man who’s dated other races of women primarily but if you meet a white man (for example) who’s never dated outside of his race– let your radar kick in. Just don’t allow yourself to be used or abused. Regardless of race– they are all MALES, FIRST.

      So sorry for my delayed reply… had to go out of town suddenly but I love that this post is still ‘alive’ and inspiring people! I’m a sucka for loveeeeee– what can I say?! hahaha

      Jazz

  10. Well I personally will have to say as a white male South African, the moment I stepped out of my “stupid” racial boundaries looking for love, companionship and adventure I found that there was a world of interesting, educated single women of colour who were absolutely GREAT to date!! I have a child with one and I won’t go back. It is an Aesthetic revolution…we cannot resist…thank god for sweet temptation.

    • Hi Barry and welcome! I love that you’re a White South African man for this topic too! I’m all about dispelling myths which I hope ultimately people will begin to see how race has been an intentional device to keep people divided. I’m not up to date on race relations in South Africa as of late, but I’m well aware of the racial discord so thank you very much for commenting!

      I think it’s wonderful that you’ve confirmed (in my rudimentary way of conveying this topic) that the only thing that’s stopping two races from ‘embracing’ one another is our own concepts/perceptions. While it’s not entirely ‘our fault’ because we’ve definitely been “guided” to these thoughts and fears of each other, it really is time to face the subject head on.

      “single women of colour who were absolutely GREAT to date!! I have a child with one and I won’t go back. It is an Aesthetic revolution…we cannot resist…thank god for sweet temptation.” I know that your intentions were well with that statement but I think it might yield an opportunity to explain another aspect of this article and why I wrote it…

      Aesthetic speaks more to the emotional instead of the intellectual if memory serves (got too many vaccines while overseas) and while that appears ‘flattering’ to state on the surface, it speaks to another aspect of what I believe are some apprehensions that black women have about dating outside of their race and especially with white men (not most but some). You also followed by saying “thank god for sweet temptation”. It brings me to the thought of; “why the word “temptation” when other races of men think of black women? I’m certain that noun is not used to describe other races of women BUT it is when referencing black women. I ask myself; why is that? Don’t have the full answer but it does point to the fact that some non-black men who date black women may not see where they’re still a ‘victim of their programming’ (for lack of a better word in this case). You mentioned, dating, having a child with one but I’m curious, would you marry a black woman too? Given the right “match” of course… I don’t believe people should marry just because of a pregnancy although being ‘parents’ is paramount in that situation. No child should be motherless or fatherless when the egg splits.

      You mentioned “you won’t go back”, but would you marry a black woman? That ‘curious george’ character who commented on this got me riled that day but I thought if there’s one person out there who thinks like him (will sleep with black women but do no hold us in high esteem– “he’s just getting his proverbial freak on”, I know he’s not alone. Hey– I hope you don’t mind the query but I feel in order to have a discussion about race related issues (dating and otherwise) there’s no time to be shy! :) Your wonderful statement and definite compliment seem to bring me to ‘ask’ why the black woman has this “rep” where words like, tempting, exotic, taboo, bewitchingly enticing or overly ‘sexualized’ creature (not really a ‘woman or human’) would be used to describe us. I can’t help but recall that women of other races are not described in those terms. I wonder if you’re familiar with Saartjite Baartman? Check this out when you have some time. http://yoy50.wordpress.com/2010/04/19/a-post-for-the-ladies-especially-for-the-sisters-please-stop-the-madness-mature-language-contained-within-the-clip/

      I dig that you’re open and ‘love’ us sisters but I wonder if there’s still just a wee bit of residue with some of those racial boundaries you’re breaking through? And that’s figuratively of course, when I say you I mean any non-black man in general. ;)

      This is one of those posts that I always get excited by when people leave comments because not only was the experiment fun, it confirmed what I’d felt about white mens’ adoration of black women. I simply think about all the missed opportunities these two groups people might have ignored too… I am ‘a sucka for true love’!

  11. You are right, it depends on the man, but you are also right there are a lot of men who like black women.

    I do not prefer black women to white women, I just happened to meet a black woman at the right time, and we were compatible. And you are most certainly right about the natural hair. And the acceptance of dark color regardless of any apparent preference for light skin.

    As I explained to my wife, for a black man light skin may mean something. For a white man, light skinned black is still across the color line. If you are going across the line does it matter how far across you go?

    Oh, her late husband was black, and my late wife was white, so we didn’t have some fixation. And we are both getting senior discounts, so we grew up in the era when our relationship was near inconceivable.

    • More myth dispelling!!! I LOVE IT! More proof that it’s all been malarkey!!

      “As I explained to my wife, for a black man light skin may mean something.” I say that all the time because somehow, it really does mean something to them! “For a white man, light skinned black is still across the color line. If you are going across the line does it matter how far across you go?” AGREED!!!

      Thank you so much for your comment bobklahn! Refreshing indeed!!! :)

      Jazz

  12. I found this by googling ‘white men and black women’. I’m actually a metis/Melungeon/MGM blend but most people see me as a redbone black woman. I dated white guys ever since I started to see the opposite sex. Like you, I’ve been “lucky” because all of the white guys I dated treated me exceptionally well. I just went through a divorce after 21 years of marriage and I’m in a long-distance (soon not to be long-distance…moving to attend college) with a white man. I love the fact that he doesn’t care about my skin color, isn’t stressed that my hair isn’t straight (my ex is mulatto and he strongly preferred my hair to be bone-straight), or any of those other stupid hang-ups that always come bumping along when the subject of race is mentioned. He is simply a wonderful man.

    It is upsetting to see that some people believe that a white man is lowering or devaluing himself when he dates or marries a black woman. However, statistically, they have the most stable interracial marriages (least occurrence of divorce). It is upsetting to see people hanging on to old stereotypes or making blanket cases due to the pain of prejudice they have suffered. My sister is one of the latter–she says she doesn’t think she could ever date a white guy. I think that’s terrible to write off a group of people like that. But many people do and they miss the treasures right in front of their faces.

    • Hi there Water Witch (what a screen name by the way lol)!

      I love you’re comment because it proves yet again that black women and white men are getting together! We just need to talk about it more! :)

      “It is upsetting to see that some people believe that a white man is lowering or devaluing himself when he dates or marries a black woman.” I couldn’t agree with you more. I mean seriously, what does society think black women are? NON-friggin HUMAN?! It’s simply absurd that the thought exists.

      “My sister is one of the latter–she says she doesn’t think she could ever date a white guy.”… she could potentially be missing out while holding out for the brother who doesn’t exist. Like I had to tell my still single black girlfriends (occasionally)– “don’t try to use me to fill your time when that white guy other there is clearly digging you”!

      I also love that you shared how you too have had good experiences dating outside of your race and that you found a wonderful MAN even after divorce! Colour has never had anything to do with manhood (in my opinion) and all I’ve ever try to date are good MEN… although, I’m just not that crazy about blonds! lol! Thanks so much for joining the discussion! I absolutely love dispelling myths!!!

      Peace,
      Jazz

      Editors note: I forgot to mention how much of a trip it is that men (not all) of colour really do seem to have an issue with our hair. Aren’t we the same race as them? So what does that say about them? They have the same hair as we do so what gives? If that ain’t some self-hate, I don’t know what is!

    • “It is upsetting to see that some people believe that a white man is lowering or devaluing himself when he dates or marries a black woman.”

      That may have been true once, that may still be true for some, but I suspect it’s not near as true as it used to be.

      Careful, you may soon find yourself to be a status symbol.

  13. My wife and I met in the Army. When one is in the Armed Forces, one sees multitudes of interracial couples. I believe its simply because in the armed forces, people that normally wouldn’t hang out with each other, are simply forced to, which breaks that barrier of unfamiliarity. See racism is all about unfamiliarity. People fear or loath that which they don’t know.

    I don’t want to make it seem like before I went into the army I didn’t date outside my race, because that simply wouldn’t be true. I think the second girl I ever dated was African American. Again, beside the point, I tend to stray a lot. My wife and I have been married for 6 years now and have three children, all of whom are just adorable. We have a mutually respect for one another, a constant physical attraction to one another (the number of kids should have let the cat outta the bag on that one, and I think I could count how many fights we’ve had on one hand in the past six years. I’ve never been happier, and simply don’t understand people who limit themselves by excluding folks of another color. That’s some simply shit.

    • Hi George! Refreshing yet again! While the armed services is a bit different, I’m glad to see that race has never been an issue for you either.

      “People fear or loath that which they don’t know”… I agree 100% and now I see how it was designed that way because fear is the only way to keep racism and hatred going. When you step back and look at how ridiculous it really is… seriously, the joke is on us!

      You sound like a pretty together dude and your wife is ‘lucky’ have you as you guys sound like you’re in a mature relationship and not just dickin’ around ‘playing house’ like too many couples are these days! Which of course, has nothing to do with race (a note for the knuckleheads out there)! Thanks so much for weighing in and putting another man’s perspective out there! And don’t worry about the typos! hahaha…. shot– have you read this blog?! lol! :)

  14. “I think the second girl I ever dated was African American. Again, beside the point, I tend to stray a lot.”

    How did you manage to stay married 6 years if you tend to stray a lot?

    Ok, I know you mean you stray verbally. Just that… you posted a followup on how many typos you had, but that was a biggie…ha-ha-ha

    ” My wife and I have been married for 6 years now and have three children, all of whom are just adorable. We have a mutually respect for one another, a constant physical attraction to one another (the number of kids should have let the cat outta the bag on that one,”

    My late wife and I had 3 children also, and yes, we had a physical attraction, even though both were white. OTOH, two of the three were adopted… Hmmm…

    My current wife also has three children, and they both were black… hmmm…

    Ok, just messin with ya.

    and I think I could count how many fights we’ve had on one hand in the past six years. I’ve “

    • Oh, and they both were black is the parents… see, typos are contagious.

      And both of us were widowed. Which eliminates a lot of baggage.

      Oh, and both of us had 28 years with our first spouses. So we a are a bit older than many.

  15. There is a white man that has been flirting with me and is obviously attracted to me. I don’t think that he is intimidated or fearful, but needs to feel me out. I have reciprocated and tried not to be overwhelming, but show a little interest. I think that it is sometimes nerve-wrecking to consider how others, especially close friends and family, may think. But, it is your happiness and life that’s at stake, and you need to make your own decisions. I believe that we will get closer, and at the appropriate time will be together. Until then, little hints and suggestions will do. When we see each other, I get the feeling that he’s been thinking about me. I know that I Think about him a lot, and taking it slow is just fine with me.

  16. Im a white man and yes we loose out big time in the past. Its an honor for me to dating a black woman. The are the best, in all the ways. More love you cant receive. They are every day there own self and not pretending to be some one else. VIVA BLACK WOMAN. Will

  17. I am a white (actually half native American, half white) I am married to a black woman. And I don’t get why skin color should be a problem, I actually find tan or dark women as more attractive. But my girl is the best woman I have ever or will ever meet, and although we get odd looks down here and comments sometimes I don’t care. When we all learn to accept people for themselves race wont matter ( as it does to the narrow minded) since it shouldn’t anyway.

  18. I am a middle aged (late 40s) black woman. I have 3 children and have been divorced for more than two decades. My ex-husband, also black, and I married when I was young and he was very violent and developed a drug habit when we were married. I had to raise our 3 children on my own and I experienced the judgements and disapproval of people who believed that I was some hussy who had kids out of wedlock and laid with a man carelessly. This was also true of my family members. The truth is, I have had very few relationships as I met and married my husband in my teens. When we divorced I was in my early 20s and it was difficult to find men who didn’t bolt when they found out I had three young children. In fact, most women in their 20s have probably dated more than me.

    Being a single parent was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and now my children are adults. I have worked tirelessly to improve my life, recently earning a master’s degree and pursuing a career change. (I was still in high school when I got married and have had to go back to school countless times to achieve my goals). I am at a new venture in my life and very lonely. I have waited patiently for my black knight and he’s never come along. The irony is, everyone tells me that I am so attractive and they find it hard to believe I haven’t been snatched up already. Not to stereotype, because I know that there are good black men out there, but the black men I’ve been with have not treated me very well. In fact, it was my first and only relationship outside my race (he was Indian), that showed me that men can be kind, respectful and absolutely adore you.

    So I decided that when I get my first job in my new career and put myself back on track that I am going to open up my options to include dating white men also. It is a scary but exciting new path as I have seen many white men/black women relationships and believe that white men who are attracted to black women genuinely appreciate them and are not afraid to show it. I refuse to go through life without love and know that if I go out of my comfort zone, that there are likely rewards to be had. I’ve proven this in my personal and professional development pursuits. I have one confession to make though… I am one of those black women who have been a bit bitter every time I see a black men with a white women, which is very common where I live. It’s not so much prejudice, but the feeling that I have of being devalued as I’ve seen so many black women who are alone and unappreciated. It is as if the world is telling us that we are not worthy of love.

    Anyway, I know my worth as a woman and human being and I will not lower my standards to have a man at any cost. The man who comes into my life must be authentic; he must have integrity; and he must be completely enamoured by me. I believe I deserve nothing less and for that he can expect the same from me– and more.

    S.

    • BrightFuture,

      Let me just say I take my hat off to you. You obviously have been through hell and back and still manage to shine in the end. What a woman and mother you must be!

      I know there is someone out there for you. You seem to have a lot of love and care to offer. I’m glad you’re opening up your options to date white men. My circumstances are similar to yours. I was married for over 21 years. Got married at 20. I have 4 children ranging from ages 18 to 3. Found out my ex had a secret life and would come home and play the “good husband”, so we divorced. I am now seeing a white man (we knew each other as friends first) and he is a wonderful, wonderful man. He gets along well with my kids (he never had the opportunity to have any) and he is very good to me. We share a lot of the same values, which is important in a relationship. The only minus is that he wants us to get married and I am leery of introducing a step-father to my children. I’m also leery of marriage after what I went through.

      So good luck to you! You’ll find someone worthy…I have no doubt!

      • Leery of marriage? Not uncommon after a bad marriage. However, if you move in together you have all the same problems of marriage, and introduce your children to a non-step parent partner. If you don’t move in together, don’t expect it to last. It could, but don’t bet on it.

        Ok, statistically second marriages have a higher success rate than first marriages. That’s a good start.

        And having the same values is very important. Risky either way, compare the risks to the benefits, and you will have to make your decision. Good luck.

      • Hi Water Witch,

        Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. I would be so happy to experience your good fortune to find a “wonderful, wonderful man.” Life is so much richer when you have someone to share it with. I have been encouraged by the many testimonials of women’s experiences (on this site) with dating outside their race and finally finding love and the respect they deserve at last. Good luck with your new relationship and, if this is truly the man for you, I hope you get past the butterflies that accompany thoughts of a life-time commitment. That, of course, is a personal decision and one that is easier to make as time passes. Just remember that you are not defined by your past experiences, and should you contemplate marriage in the future, it should not be defined by your previous marriage either. I wish you the very best!

    • As I came home from a hard day at work, in 100 Deg temperatures, My (black) wife greeted me, we put our arms around each other and kissed several times. A bit later I was sitting in my computer chair, and she came out to talk to me. I leaned back to relax and she came over and kissed me on the lips.

      You did catch on that I am white, didn’t you?

      Ok, kiddo, you get the idea. Go for it.

      Same for you Water Witch.

  19. wow i really like the comments on here :) ok this is my problem i really want to start dating but i only like white guys (plz don’t ask why) but always get approached by a black guys and I’ve been single for about 19 years now and i’m 19 so never dated before and would really love to start dating, but i’m too shy asking out a white guy in fear of being rejected or worse them replying by saying i only date white girls. can anyone help me with this i really don’t know how to go about this.

    • Well, you are afraid you will be turned down. You are afraid you will be told he only dates white women.

      Guess what, you are right, that will happen.

      So?

      Here’s the key I learned long ago. A friend when I was in the service told me of a friend of his who would walk down the street and approach women he found attractive. He would immediatly ask them to have sex.

      He said his friend got slapped a lot, but he also got laid.

      Long ago I realized, if I asked out 100 women, and 99 of them said no, then I had a success rate of 1%, and a failure rate of 99%.

      You know what? I only need one.

      So, no matter how many say no, just the one who says yes is all I need.

      Keep that in mind, make yourself a plan to ask out 100 men. Let us know when you get to the one who says yes.

      OH, I do bet you will get a lot more than 1 yes, but that doesn’t mean that one will be someone you want to spend your life with. So, just plan to keep trying. There is another 100 out there waiting for you to ask.

      • Hi there Bob! Now, I have to say, that although I think I’m pretty progressive, open-minded and all, I actually am probably only a handful of women who do not approach men. I think that has become a huge problem with the attitude some men have towards women too. While I’m pretty good at the flirting thing, I’m simply not asking a guy out. I like my role as a woman and I like confident, self-assured men. It is also a way to know that he’s interested in actually getting to know you instead of the ultimate aim and snagging another pair of panties (I was going to say something else– hahaha). But I do agree that men should be upfront– if they don’t want a relationship and just the panties… uhm say that shit! lol! The way I see it, all of the cheating could be avoided if a muthafvuka would be upfront! lol.

        @Dream– trust me, white men who truly don’t have any issue with colour will most definitely make their interest known! The only difference between a black man and a white man that I’ve found is the hue! And do take note of that “gorgeous george’s” comment– assholes come in ALLLLL shades! ;) I am curious why you only like white guys… you had to know I’d ask! hahaha

      • lol well i dnt really know why i like white guys, alot of hot black guys ask me out and when i say hot I’m mean HOT but for some reasons i’m only attracted to white guys. but when i say white guys i dnt mean just any white guy, i’m also attracted to vietnamese,asian guys and some hispanic and i think the reason is all the same i want to be in an interracial relationship. but i really like white guys but im not crazy over them.

        p.s. oh and thank you bob, but i dnt think i could ever ask a guy out i might be able to flirt alittle but never ask a guy out but thank you for the advice i really appreciate it. :)

      • Oohh… I see– what you have is straight up jungle fever (well, you know what I mean)! lol. I would say treat them like any other guy you’ve dated but definitely make sure to keep your radar up for the “curious george” types. And I do find it hard to believe that a black woman doesn’t think that black men aren’t the sexiest creatures alive BUT I have met one other. :)

        I actually hope you’ll let us know when that white guy finally asks you out! ;)

  20. Ok, wonder how many are following this.

    Just want to ask, how many of you are following Funky Winkerbean. Ok, Less and Cayla to be more precise?

    If you are, let’s get some responses to that storyline.

    • Trust me… it will! :)

      I wish I could find a picture of the first guy that “Tootie” from The Facts Life was married to. He was the GORGEOUS Asian guy! They’re out there!!! ;)

  21. I grew up in a house/ Orphanage with many kids all different ages and sexes and all White except myself. In One house.
    My second boyfriend was a 16 year old white boy, he told me he wanted me and and was willing to talk to my then black boy friend if necessary,,, he did what he felt he needed to do to get me and we dated for a good while….., Now I am 54 & in a very bad marriage black man and i found a old white male friend on FB from back in the 70’s different white boy///man. Then the 16 year old.
    but this guy was also raised in the same place..
    Anyway We started talking last December 2010. and we have talked just about every night since , he is my very best friend and I love this nut, My body craves him he makes me laugh and i get a strange feeling when we talk, he makes me feel sexy & wanted, he always takes all my calls. He doesn’t play games, Again he is just my very best friend, my body craves him! (LOL) .

    • Hi Marie!

      This is just too darn cute!!!! :)

      I happen to know that when people are actually ready to get married that’s when they’re committed whether they’re black or white. BUT some brothers are having some serious issues with commitment to anyone but themselves so if you’ve made a connection with a mature man who’s willing to treat your relationship with him the way it should be done, I’m thrilled! I’m so happy to see that this little experiment is (hopefully) encouraging people to get together because why be sad and lonely when you really don’t have to? And white guys do have a way of making you feel extra sexy, don’t they? I guess it’s because they’re so fascinated by how we can be “stacked” they show true adoration while some brothers… are taken it for granted (I guess they’ve gotten use to our builds).

      A relationship that starts in friendship is absolutely the best place to start so I’m glad you’ve found your best friend! This is soooo cool! ;)

  22. I am a 19 year old white male and I think I have always wanted to be an interracial relationship, no idea why it has always been so inprinted in my mind. It always seemed so normal. I also like where I live, England, Midlands. It is seems to be a very excepting place of interracial couples. I have always thought my attraction to black women is no more different than me liking brown eyes etc. I have looked at topics on this subject where some people have said white men only look at black women from a slightly racist point of view, like a conquest. I don’t see that as true all the time, I mean if a man is attracted to your skin tone or your curly hair or whatever he likes about you, it is no different than a white man going for a white girl cause she has blonde hair and blue eyes is it? As long as if he gets you he wants to stick around. I mean you come for the packaging but stay for the contents, which I suppose is a very simple way of saying your initial attraction is superficial but you stay with someone for how well you get on etc.

    I have actually yet to ask out this girl I like, mainly because I understand that all women are women, but I was turned down by one girl at a bar for being white… Not the best feeling :) But oh well each to their own. I do plan on asking this girl out. Just wanted to say I enjoyed your post and you have gained a follower :)

    • Hi there, Harg! And 19?!! I don’t believe if for ONE second with the wisdom you appear to have! No way, no how!

      I keep wondering how this post seems to continue to gain viewership (cuz it’s old as dirt, now– lol) BUT– it’s ALWAYS exceptionally wonderful to see a young(er) man who views love, relationships, unions with “souls” as it should be! I can’t find which quote you’ve coined to start with first, and honestly– I’m so THRILLED to find a person from “generation Y” (I think ?) that is so incredibly well grounded!!! Honestly– I’ve met some 60+ year old men (of many races) that are only beginning to reach your insight! DUDE– YOU’VE MADE MY DAY! BIG :)

      “… where some people have said white men only look at black women from a slightly racist point of view, like a conquest. I don’t see that as true all the time, I mean if a man is attracted to your skin tone or your curly hair or whatever he likes about you, it is no different than a white man going for a white girl cause she has blonde hair and blue eyes is it?” Seriously– I’ve gotta’ check your I.D.! hahaha Sifting through the (very real) taboo of it all is real BUT– there are so many who resist breaking their own mental barriers that it can be easily forgotten that; RACISM WAS ALL PART OF AN INTENTIONAL DESIGN. In other words, we didn’t “think” we were different (emotionally, et. al)” until someone TOLD us we were! “Divide and Conquer”!

      “… I have always wanted to be an interracial relationship, no idea why…” Had we EVER realized (before this time) that we have been led to believe that we are different (an absurd notion)… can you imagine the peace and unity that could exist today?!!

      I hope you will ask this lady of interest out and let us know the results! But if you don’t… I don’t know if you noticed– but there’s a few young single black woman who’ve shown interest in white men within this thread… :: double ;) ::

      I don’t want to insult you in anyway but I feel like you’re my “son” and as your “mum”– I’d love for you to find the love of your life! Relationships based in true love and respect do breed the best parents EVER too! ;) “Just wanted to say I enjoyed your post and you have gained a follower “… I blush and how can I not be you “mum” after that?! hahaha And to think… I actually wasn’t checking the blog anymore tonight?! Very cool of you, Harg and welcome to the family! :)

      Love, peace and soul (TRAIN), man!!!
      Jazz

  23. Wow that was so sweet I like the voice of wisdom but there are a lot people that don’t date someone just because of their race. Trust me I get hit on all the time by black guys but the one time I try to let go of my fears and ask a white guy out they turned me down because I was black. And yea it hurt it hurt really badly and that just happened today but I didn’t let it bring me down yes I’m still sad about it and its going to take a while before I get over the fact that someone didn’t want to date me because I was black, I won’t give up just because of one person but I’m also not going to be asking a guy out anymore it just hurts too much to feel that pain again :( but yay lol I faced my fears :)

    • I wish I could explain this to you. When I was dating, after my first wife died, I didn’t really fear being turned down, cause I knew I had been in one as long as we both shall live relationship, so I had confidence I would make it through.

      You got hurt. Now go back and risk getting hurt again. It’s going to happen, but just once it won’t, and that’s all you need.

      Life is a risk. Not taking a risk is not living.

    • “the one time I try to let go of my fears and ask a white guy out they turned me down because I was black” That’s cause you didn’t ask the right guy. :D As Bob Klahn go back out there, what is the worst someone can say, no. Forget them there loss, right? Get back on that horse. I am sure my self appointed “mum” would agree.

    • well dear now you know how men feel when they get turned down and it is a whole lot worse to get turned down when you are asking a girl to dance cause that’s in front of every body or so it seems when you get turned down every eye in the place is on you. Guys feel it too and its a whole lot worse when it a black girl that turns you down

      now don’t say you wont ask a white man out any more cause we have gone thru that a lot longer the you women cause its only been accepted for women to ask men out a short while.

      I would only turn you down if I already had a woman by my side I am a white man and I am 66 so I have been around and seen much of what this world went thru and I am so very glad that we can date each other now and yes I did not have the courage or maybe it wasn’t that but rather did not want to have to go thru what couples had to back then

      I just got divorced and she started all this behind my back so I have been hurt pretty good but I want a long term relationship so yes I am afraid to let my feelings go but I know that is what it takes after reading on here I can almost feel that my heart would be safe with a black woman but don’t know how to tell which one would not turn me down so mam if you ask me out you will get a big big yes and I love hugs so be prepared for that right along with a yes and maybe even a thank you

      Dan

  24. I have to agree with the notion of not taking it personal and know that it’s his loss. I personally don’t ask out men but to each their own. But don’t take it personal. Just like ‘my son’ said; Forget them! :)

    And I do like where you’re coming from Bob! Men fascinate me when they are rejected. It can be a mighty blow to them… for some reason… :)

    • *** HIGH ALERT ***

      Thank you sooooo much, Darryl! That statement needed to be stated by a MAN! As men are (suppose to be) the protectors of us women– no doubt about it (IMHO). Your parents should be proud! Welcome to the party, my man!

      Jazz ;) and hugs from afar!!!

  25. Um…Im pretty sure Im the youngest and most inexperienced person who decided to comment. Well Im eightenn years old and a young black girl. I really just want to say that this moved me in ways you may not understand. I remember when I was in elementary school and began to have a small attraction to white boys, and as the years went by my feelings didnt change but my attraction did get stronger. I kept it a secret for a long time, hoping that maybe it was a phase but in the back of my mind I was just in denile… Im a very out going and funny kid but the whole attraction thing was driving me insane. So once I entered high school I decided to tell my mom and sister. My mom is a fierce black woman who LOVES ber black man, and my sister likes mixed boys with long hair…My sister said if I was to ever get with a white boy he better be “gansta”, I ignored her commet. My mom on the other hand disregarded the entire thing and said I would meet a fine black boy at a track meet or something… I then chose to tell my female friends about my feelings and they decided to tell me they were gay or bi, which really didnt help my situation. Now Im a senior in high school and have been going back and forth with my mom for almost four years now. She continues to tell me she is praying for a black man to “sweep me off my feet”, but I really wish she would just accept this very important part of me, and encourage it instead of throwing all of our history at me.
    Thank you for your time, this really helped me express myself.
    And if its not too much of a bother Id really like to talk to you. If not I understand. Thank you again and be blessed.

    • If it’s not too much of a bother? What do you see us doing here? This is what we are doing.

      Now, just how do you deal with your mother? Dang that one is hard. Years ago my racially mixed family consisted of my white wife and my white me and our children, one of whom was white and two who were not. We belonged to a group for racially mixed people and families. At one of our meetings we were discussing various issues, one of which was, in racially mixed marriages each partner tended to picture the children with someone of that partner’s race.

      A couple years after my first wife passed away I met my current wife. She is black, as was her first husband. One of her sons first thought on the subject of the two of us was, “Couldn’t you find someone black?” Her daughter’s thoughts were expressed by not speaking to her mother for two weeks.

      Hmmm… think there might have been some attitude there?

      Eventually they caught on to the fact that I was going to take good care of their mother, and they decided I was ok.

      Now, your mother might need some time to get through it, and just how you work it out I don’t know. But the question is how are you going to meet these white guys you want to date? Or do you already have something going on? You are 18 after all.

      Do you have plans to go to college? Do you have someplace you are going that will give you the freedom to do your thing? The only way you are likely to gain her acceptance is simply by going your way, and letting her see it’s working for you. So far she isn’t taking you seriously, and you can’t force her to, nor should you try. Just do what you need to and let her discover it’s not a bad thing by seeing it is not.

      Add to all that, study the history, so she won’t have to throw it at you, you will know it. Remember, a white man who doesn’t respect your history won’t be able to understand your life, nor really appreciate it.

  26. This is an interesting topic.
    I would like to note that I am a Black woman currently in a long term relationship with a very attractive and successful European man. That being said; I am attracted all men; Asian, Indian, Black, Arabic and White. I love men, regardless of
    colour.

    I sense a distaste for interracial relationships involving Black men and White women. I cannot ignore the anger and disappointment which some of the responses here evoke. I find it sad and quite pathetic.

    Black women; stop attacking Black men for dating outside of their race. If a Black man has a preference for White women, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some people like cats instead of dogs or prefer to eat fish instead of red meat. Its a preference.

    Also; the World isn’t Black and White. There are other races out there and many individuals from these races are open to date inter-racially. Why not give an Asian guy a chance Black women? Racial stereotypes in any form is morally and ethically wrong. I bet many of you over look many non-Black and non-White men who would be great companions and lovers.

    Brightfuture; I’m very impressed by what you have written. I wish you all the very best in your pursuit of happiness and love. Trust me; there are some good men out there. I was VERY lucky enough to snag one of them and I’m thanking my lucky star for allowing our paths to cross.
    Women; regardless of colour; should be adored! Its the best feeling in the World when you have someone who adores you completely! We must also remember to reciprocate and treat our men like the King he is.

    And to Akilah32; sweetheart, you have one life to live; ONE.
    Do not limit yourself and never allow anyone (not even your Mommy) to limit your choices or your abilities. If you’re attracted a a particular Caucasian boy in your school; approach him and treat him as an individual and not as a race. If he turns you down; don’t give up on interracial dating because there are billions of fish in the human sea :)

    In closing; the World isn’t Black and White. Try dating someone other than a Black man or a White man. You could find your prince charming in an Asian, Arabic, Indian or Native man :)

    K

  27. This is an interesting topic.
    I would like to note that I am a Black woman currently in a long term relationship with a very attractive and successful European man. That being said; I am attracted all men; Asian, Indian, Black, Arabic and White. I love men, regardless of his colour.

    I sense a distaste for interracial relationships involving Black men and White women. I cannot ignore the anger and disappointment which some of the responses evoked here. I find it sad and quite pathetic.

    Black women; stop attacking Black men for dating outside of their race. If a Black man has a preference for White women, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some people like cats instead of dogs or prefer to eat fish instead of red meat. Its a preference.

    Also; the World isn’t Black and White. There are other races out there and many individuals from these races are open to date inter-racially. Why not give an Asian guy a chance Black women? Racial stereotypes in any form is morally and ethically wrong. I bet many of you over look many non-Black and non-White men who would be great companions and lovers.

    Brightfuture; I’m very impressed by what you have written. I wish you all the very best in your pursuit of happiness and love. Trust me; there are some good men out there. I was VERY lucky enough to snag one of them and I’m thanking my lucky star for allowing our paths to cross.
    Women; regardless of colour; should be adored! Its the best feeling in the World when you have someone who adores you completely! We must also remember to reciprocate and treat our men like the King he is.

    And to Akilah32; sweetheart, you have one life to live; ONE.
    Do not limit yourself and never allow anyone (not even your Mommy) to limit your choices or your abilities. If you’re attracted a a particular Caucasian boy in your school; approach him and treat him as an individual and not as a race. If he turns you down; don’t give up on interracial dating because there are billions of fish in the human sea :)

    In closing; the World isn’t Black and White. Try dating someone other than a Black man or a White man. You could find your prince charming in an Asian, Arabic, Indian or Native man :)

    K

    • “I sense a distaste for interracial relationships involving Black men and White women.”

      I seem to have missed this one before. There is an article in a recent copy of the Toledo Blade on the subject of successful black women who cannot find a man to marry. Many are looking for black men by preference. The subject of black men with white women was mentioned, as well as other circumstance, such as lack of jobs and police records, that remove black men from the poor of desirable choices.

      I can understand the antipathy by black women against black men with white women, just on a statistical basis. There are 6 times as many white people as black in this country. So, 1% of white women involved with black men removes 6% of black men from the pool. 2% of white women would remove 12% of black men. That alone is a shortage. Then add in the other factors. Note that isn’t even married, just involved.

      OTOH, 2% of white men could account for 12% of black women. I do believe you could find 2% of white men who would be open to black women. So that is a direction to look.

      As to those who object in any case, and I have seen a goodly number of shows with black men saying black women don’t need to look to white men, there are good answers to that. My middle daughter is Korean. I have said, for a long time, Korea has the best international PR operation in the world, and they don’t even have to pay for it. Not only are the adoptive families pro-Korea, but their extended families, their close friends, and it opens up all those other people who associate with them in business or just in passing.

      Every family that becomes racially mixed opens one more family to understanding of more than the world they grew up in.

  28. my stupid daughter dated a black guy, he slapped her around and finally broke her arm with a baseball bat. the neighbor heard her screaming and called the police. by the time they got there, he stole her car and was gone for almost three months. he was finally was caught in chicago where heassaulted another girl. black men love white women because they pay the bills for them, they live off of the women, then when the girl gets pregnant they disappear.
    when she has the baby it doesn’t look black and it doesn’t look white. they use the white girls for everything they can get out of them. black is beautiful but dark brown sucks lol.

    dateing a white girl is a statis symbol for them, they love to drive a Cadillac but can’t pay for it, unless they sell a lot of drugs. i gotta go

    • Whats with the crazy comment?!? All black guys are not like that, some white guys can be like that too. My black guy friends would never even think of doing such a thing, especially hitting a girl. You really NEED to stop being a racist and move on.

  29. Sorry for replying so late Bob. I finally got out of track practice early today and had time to comment.
    I plan on going to a college that is around three hours away, not that Im running away or anything, its what school me and my sis decided on.
    I was in a small and not very enthusiastic relationship with a white boy but whenever he wanted to go out I had track. Plus he was really immature and younger than me.
    I went all out while talking to my mom, she says she just hopes that I find a black guy to settle down with, but I just told her that I’ve never really seen myself marrying a black guy. And I dont plan on marrying a black guy just for her.
    Besides all that, I really love your story and pray that there is a guy out there for me that has a love for black women just like you.

    • Just got out of track? My youngest daughter was the track star at her high school. Are we running a stereotype here? (hehe)

      I love women. My wife was first looking for a black man. We found each other. Fortunately my mind was opened long ago. I was stationed in Hawaii in the Air Force, where, during the Vietnam war (Yes, I am that old) the eligible man to woman ratio was literally 2 to 1. Hawaiian women were beautiful. However, I do recall a black woman working at the library I was attracted to. Instead I met a white woman and married her. Also same religion, which I think is more important than race. It’s one thing having one major difference, but two?

      After she passed away, some years later, I met my current wife. I am Catholic and she is Episcopal. The two are close enough as to make little difference, other than being able to tease each other now and then. I decided when I was starting to date that major differences would be a bit much.

      Now I look at what I just wrote, “…major difference would be a bit much.” I married a black woman but major differences would be a bit much…hmmm… think about that attitude.

      I grew up in the segregated 50s and 60s, but serving in the military, and working in integrated environments gave me exposure I didn’t get growing up. Also thank the Loving family, (you do know who they are don’t you?) and the civil rights marchers.

      The world has changed so much more than most young people realize.

      OTOH, the separation was not only racial, but also religious, which is why I see what is really wrong with the current anti-Muslim current in this country. When they call Obama a Muslim I remember what it was like when they talked about Kennedy being Catholic. It’s the same prejudice.

      My youngest daughter is black, and my first wife and I adopted her. Before that we applied to the county, and they held pre-adoption classes, one of the best things we ever did. One of the rules they taught us is, you can never tell another ethnic or racial joke. If you tell one you justify them all. However, some day remind me to tell you about my night in Janesville Wisconsin, where the Polish jokes I had heard before I heard again, as Swedish jokes.

  30. BTW, many of you have seen the link services, such as bit.ly, where they shorten a link to a few characters. I use one called snipurl.com. where you can cut a long web address to a name you can remember easily. I plan to send the address of this discussion to the reporter who wrote the article in the Toledo Blade about black women who can’t find men to marry. To do that I shortened the address to:

    http://www.snipurl.com/yoytotheworld

    Works. Try it.

  31. Hello,

    My name is Rick, and I hope you don’t mind if I jump in here. I have always been attracted to black women. Some people have asked me why? I ask them, why do you like white women, blond hair, short, tall, heavyset, skinny women? They reply, “that’s just what I like”. Some people just cannot or do not want to understand how people of different races could fall in love. I thank God I have never been one of these people.As I said, I have always been attracted to black women, but it has not always been good. I made a lot of bad choices in the past. It got to the point where I didn’t pursue women. Then luckily, I met the woman I am married to today. When we met, we found out we were a lot alike. She had just been through a bad divorce. She had decided she had rather live alone. I was the first white man she had ever dated, and we dated for 5 years. One riding down Boulder Hwy in Vegas, she said, “Hell, we might as well get married”. I almost wrecked. First, I said no, but she was persistent. Now, I’m so glad she never gave up. Six months later we flew back to Vegas and got married. THE best decision I have ever made. Everyday I am so thankful that I have been blessed with this woman. My 2 cents worth.

  32. I’m 15 and I attend a private school with mainly whites in fact I’m the only black girl there. I like this white guy at the school but I’ve only spoke to him once and I really like him. I don’t really talk much but I will talk if I need to or have to. I’m not sure if he likes me because I think I’m a bit ugly and I have really bad teeth but soon to get braces. I get along well with boys but sometimes white guys think that all black girls in general are ghetto or something (no racist). Can I please have some advice?

    • 15? You are too young to decide your life.

      Ugly? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it’s really true.

      Sometimes white guys…? Sometimes? That suggests sometimes white guys don’t. You only need one.

      Advice? Live life. Talk to him, that’s not a commitment. Even if it doesn’t mean anything it will give you experience for when it does.

      And, who knows? Like I said, you are too young to decide your life, but you won’t be too young much longer. And knowing you and respecting you will give him more reason to be interested.

      If not him… someone else.

      Oh, and if your family doesn’t have a problem, let him get to know your family.

  33. Hi everyone!

    Just wanted to chime in on the subject. I have always found black women to be very attractive and have dated many. I recently met this girl who is black. She is also a Delta. Words can’t describe how much I am into her. I think she could be my wife. When we are together, everything feels right. She has never dated a white Italian guy like myself or any other white guy. She told me on several occasions how shocked she was that she was so attracted and into a white guy. As far as our sexual relations, it is amazing, but that is not what is most important (although it is). I am so into her. Just being around her, cuddling, talking and seeing her smile. I feel that she and I would make the perfect team. She is understanding of me and the basic common sense struggle of trying to work hard to get what you want. Although I am a white Italian, I have struggled with obstacles and over came them. I believe to each their own and live a very open minded life.

    The only potential issues I see is that her Delta sisters might give her a problem. She has told me herself that she considers herself to be like a black panther. She is very pro-black, and I am cool with it. She had a little reservation about introducing me to her family. We went there last week, and they were so nice and welcoming. They even told me I can come back without her lol. I think she was shocked how well we all got along. One of her cousins even told her that she thought I might be the one for her.

    We recently got on the subject of race. I told her look, “I can’t change that I am Italian, nor would I if I could. No matter who I am or am not, I will treat you better and honor you more then any other man, black or white.”

    She is over the race issue. It was an issue for and not me, especially considering her back ground.
    I can’t tell she is falling for me, and I know I am falling for her. If things keep going this way, I want to marry her.

    To all the black women reading this post, white guys do like black women and marriage is not out the question for us. You need to look into the persons heart and judge for yourself. There are bad white men too. I think there are three types of white men. 1. There are the silver spoon, golfing, preppy white boys (not me). 2. There are the wanna be something they are not white boys (not me) 3. Then there are down to earth, knows the struggle and are who they are white men. Very comfortable within their own skin and willing to treat you like a queen and have a little splash of soul :-) (this is me). If I were you, go for #3. We are a lot of fun…

    my .02

  34. what is system experimentation to castrate the black male eexistence hate to do with ignoranc of plaite program to control the fate of black people orchestrate by a global illuminate federation called the “Coats of Arms” directed by the JHS Jesuit hierarchy society? Remember the black male has always been ruled the global under dog to fend for themselves against all odds, including the judasgoat syndrome of the so call black woman switching sides. This also include the black man guilty of practicing the same psychological ignorance. What happens when the mate of the opposite race decide to return back to their race and nolonger ave taboo syndrome desires as before?

  35. I am a 21 year old African girl and I have traveled the world to study. I am currently studying in the UK but I have lived in the US and Caribbean too.

    My main problem has to do with dating from other races. I am quite dark and have noticed that a lot of black guys I like would rather date my lighter skinned friends or friends from other races than me. I am usually just “one night stand” material to them. It really hurts so much sometimes when I think about it. It is not because I am not pretty or anything but I feel my skin colour seems to be a really big deal with a lot of black guys. I dont know why.
    The thing is that a LOTTTT of white/indian/asian guys have approached me in the past but I have always turned them down. It is not that I am not attracted to them, it is just that I want to date black guys.
    Now that I am in UK, I have not really seen a lot of black guys where I live that I would like to date. But the attention I get from some of the white/indian guys is kind of overwhelming for me sometimes.

    I recently met a white guy who I know truly likes me. The attraction I have for him is just too much to ignore. I think about him all the time and when he touches me, I feel like I am on fire. He really wants me to be officially his girlfriend but I am so scared of the consequences our relationship together might have. My relatives back home will definitely not be pleased if I do this and I feel like it would be too much work to put into a relationship that probably might not work out anyway.
    It would be so much easier to just date a black man but why dont they want me as much as I want them back?
    He asked about my hair the other day and it was a bit awkward for me. He did not seem to mind my weave though.
    I dated a mixed guy in the past and it was really weird for me. But a white guy, that is just too much for me.

    I absolutely dont know if I should do this and see what happens or take the high road.

    Help!

    • You do seem to have a problem. Yes, family can be a problem, but much of the problem is inside you. It’s not wanting to date a black man, but I suspect it’s not really knowing why you want a black man, when a white man gets you going that way.

      I do not know what to tell you about your family, it wasn’t that much of a problem for me, bringing a black woman home. Plus I am old enough to tell them to … well… say not nice words.

      The family thing is the only problem I see. So, if you ask them will they go so far off you won’t have a family? If not, then talk to them about it.

      However, make sure this white man is looking for marriage, just to make sure it’s worth it to you.

  36. Forget the color my friends….. if she makes your soul scream… if she makes you feel like a Puppy….. she is good for you….Love is not color oriented… let yourself go…!!! We all have our own “Soul”……. no need to compromisel…. no need to not “Go for it”…. Ciao !!

  37. Hi, Im from California where Black women and White men are the hottest!….you see them everywhere and they are getting married having babies and happy! A far cry from 10 years ago. Bottom line is sistas are done with being mad at black men (not brothers) who cherish anything that is not black! for real though. We complained for a good 20 years…But we are now getting glad about who we are, our intelligence, our worth, and realizing the beauty the god has truly given us. And because of this we are attracting men who love them selves as well; which is sadly to say….men of other ethnicities.

    White men are confident within themselves; they don’t fear to pay for tabs, open up doors and to make you feel like a lady. To them…the darker the berry the sweeter the juice. They will protect you and keep you and I know this from personal experience. Soooo sistas, stay classy, break the ignorant stereo types, keep educating your minds, keep your bodies in shape, keep your relationship right with god and I guarantee you that all that beauty within will project forward and cover you from head to toe creating you and keeping you as the beautiful Goddess that god made you be! When you are at that level, even the most hateness Black man will have to tip his hat to you! Not that we care who he tips his hat too..lol…but I’m just sayig :) I love you sistAs! Keep it up!

  38. OMG I WANT A WHITE MAN SO BAD BUT I KEEP MEETING THE JERKS THAT THINK IM GONNA SLEEP WITH THEM, IM MOVING TO AUSTIN TEXAS SOON CAUSE I HEARD ITS COMMON TO SEE MORE US WITH WHITE MEN THAN HERE IN ILLINOIS. IM 32, no children, working and striving but Single. Im medium toned short and cute, but here in Illinois the white men look down on black women or you have to be of a darker skin tone, where are these guys who want black women cause I am tired of being single

    • I was very surprised to hear that about Texas. I am from Illinois, but been around Toledo for almost 40 years. We see a lot of white men with black women here, and my wife blames me for setting the example. Do remember, find a couple men who will like you, and from that will come one who could love you.

    • Some just resist the fact that all of us are people. I date a Black Woman when she is not totally absorbed with her business. We have a lot in common, interests, intelligence and just enjoy each other. I do not view her as a sex object or, conquest, I am not that way. However, she started us down that path once she realized that I respected her for the person she was. I don’t know for sure where she and I will wind up but, have to say, we have a very natural, easy going, true interest in each other form of relationship

      Peace and good fortune!

  39. Nice article. I’m a regular white guy (half Italian/half English),self employed. To be clear, I’ve always been fortunate with woman so my decisions have nothing to do with desperation. I dated black women of all skin tone. I married the girl down the street. She is a beautiful half black/half German girl. The attitude is the black half, the temper is the German half :). We are married with two handsome boys. I remember the first time I saw her walking to her car. A huge mane of curly hair highlighted honey blond with that body. I was finished! You are right about the hair. We are just like every other couple,probably better after 15 years. My advice on inter-racial dating -marriage? You can’t be a follower and check your’ old prejudices at the door.

  40. I’ve enjoyed reading the comments here. I’m really happy to see so many African American females opening up to give White guys a chance.. I enjoy hanging out/dating white guys.. But white guys you need to step up also and stop being afraid to approach African American women.. I prefer white guys because I’m successful in my career and I prefer to hold a conversation with someone who’s open minded like myself… I will also like to say that white guys are definitely fun and adventurous… Looking for my white knight…

    • Oh, I love you Sweetheart… I think a lot of guys are shy about approaching a black woman because of the huge cultural divide that still exists in this world… I literally fell in love with my Biology lab partner at the University… She had a huge boyfriend that really was intimidating. She smelled divine, and her eyes flashed deep to my inner soul. Later she became Miss Ohio and a runner-up to Miss USA… She woke me up to the real inner beauty of the Bllack Woman… Corrine Huff… RIP I will always cherish you.

      • Do you have any more info about Corrine Huff? I found the name spelled Corinne Huff. Since you knew here I suspect you may be right.

        Corinne Huff on Youtube.

        There is practically nothing about her on blackpast.org. Nor when I google.

        Write up everything you remember about her, If you have a yearbook with her in it, copy the pages. Send the info to blackpast@blackpast.org and link to that on the youtube video comments.

        I’m sure it will be appreciated.

      • Bob… I will collect all the info I have and grab the URLs for the links and make an entry here for you… I have that JET Magazine, I finally found it earlier this year through a lot of on-line searches. I think you are right about the spelling Corinne.. I too will defer to the JET Spelling.. She was an incredibly gracious woman, and she sparkled like diamonds. I only knew her for that one semester at Youngstown University night school… I never have let her later personal life tarnish the image I have of her. We all do ‘things’ as we grow up. As I understand it from my on-line searches on her , she did eventually marry the boat captain; but beyond that I run into a wall. It could be that is the way wanted it, and that is the way she kept it…..Private.

      • “I never have let her later personal life tarnish the image I have of her. We all do ‘things’ as we grow up. As I understand it from my on-line searches on her , she did eventually marry the boat captain; but beyond that I run into a wall. It could be that is the way wanted it, and that is the way she kept it…..Private.”

        Actually, I know nothing about this. Like I said, there is *VERY* little about her available online.

        So, I look forward to more.

  41. Wow, what a hot topic. I see that this conversation started last year and is still going strong. As for me! I have always but an interst to white men and all types of foreingers. I have come to the realization that men are men.

  42. I have always wanted to date a white man. I have had plenty of opportunities to do so, but having a fear of what I’ve never experienced kept me from doing so. I believe that their are so many black women like myself who are just afraid to date outside of their race. I’m just like a little bunny rabbit who hops away when white men get close. Maybe one day that will change.

  43. I totally agree white men love black women and I love a white man!! And yes there kind supporting, They know how to treat a woman no doubt. White is right …..

  44. Heya just updating, I am currently at University in an awesome city in England. I went out tonight and made out with a beautiful black girl and I am looking forward to seeing her again, anyway the main reason I am commenting is to say: Stereotypes are BULLSHIT! So whether your preference is white, black, asian or whatever it doesn’t matter, basically JUST GO FOR IT!

  45. Read the other day, a study shows the percentage of Noble Prize winners a country has can be correlated to the rate of chocolate consumption in that country.

    When I read that to my wife she said, “Aren’t you glad I filled that bowl with chocolate”?

    As I walked toward her she said, “Oh, you weren’t thinking of the candy”.

  46. I have dated Black Women exclusively for 20 years so I began when it was still uncommon to see a Black Woman strolling arm in arm with a white man. I ignored the any looks but some women that I dated could not and it became a guilt issue. Luckily I am a not a small man so no one really got stupid so if I caught someone staring I just glared back at them with a Clint Eastwood stare and they looked away.

    I find that black women are better communicators than white women because they do not keep you guessing about what they are thinking. I remember the first time that a black woman announced that she was going to “fuss” I could not keep the smile off of my face which probably prolonged the fuss but I thought it was cute.

    Love making is also a much different experience with a black woman as they are extremely passionate if a man takes his time. Women who had never been with a white man have told me that they had never had the foreplay experience with black men. One lady told me that she actually thought that the average time for all men was 10-15 minutes from undressing to the end. She also was amazed by receiving oral sex without asking for it.

    I do not think that I will ever go back to dating white women after enjoying the company of black women.

    • My late wife was white, and she was passionate when I took my time, which, since I like what we were doing, I was willing to spend time doing it.

      Though I don’t think I’ll ever go back to dating white women since my current (black) wife would get just a bit upset…

  47. hi my name is megan evans and i am look for a goodmen who can be there for me talk don’t
    hurt thing hurt if hit you love billon dollars more you have puck stick glue love from megan evans

    • Hi Megan! How adorable?! It never occurred to me to ‘introduce’ some form of a match-up thingy through this post! I’m so thrilled that so many still stop by on this one cuz damn, what a cool missing piece of a non-rational piece of a puzzle?! We are SOOO much more alike than we think!

      Hey– I co-sign this one, fellow people! If you like the words of the many men and women who continue to chime in on this cool azz subject– and you’re SANE (that’s a MUST) don’t be shy– reach out to each other! :) :)

      I have to say that as I’ve been able to glance from time to time at the continuing comments that keep coming on this, I’m overjoyed to have touched a cord at all! “One love, one life, let’s get together and feel alright”! — Bob Marley

  48. I am new to the site. I’ve enjoyed reading different perspectives on this intriguing subject of wmbw relationships. I have had experiences most like what Steve recently referred to about the women he’s dated. 10-15 minutes because we were suppose to be lovemaking not running a race. I am curious though Steve. If you’ve been dating us 20 years, did you ever marry one of us?

    I have lived in the south all my life, and it’s been more wmbw couples becoming more noticeable in the past few years where I live. Although still very low in numbers compared to other mixed couples.

    The phenomenon I have observed is that among the working class, the lines stay drawn as far as white men approaching us is largely dictated by their political views. We are a red state currently, but our parish is largely democratic. So that means there are a lot of middle of the roads like myself. I have also observed that a lot of white men are not strong enough to be independent thinkers out of fear of acceptance, and possible financial setback from their communities. But I guess that would depend on the strength of the individual man.

    I applaud anyone who has the courage to love whom they choose. Their lives are more richer than those of us on the outside looking in.

  49. Just a short while ago I was discussing her African heritage with my wife, then found another post on this blog. We talked about the one where the man said he would not go back to dating white women. She said if a man is open to love he can find it in different colors… paraphrased. If for some reason he were looking for love again he would not close himself off from it, even if it came in a vanilla package.

    OTOH, I am too dang old to go out looking again. I’ll stay with my chocolate woman. Now I’ll hit enter and go back and making some more kissing time with her.

    • Hi there, Bob! Just wanted to chime in and let you know that I’m so glad you’re digging what’s done here! Lovin’ that! Hoping to be in touch reaaalll soon (with you and EVERYONE here), my friend! Take care of yourself– seems the bulk of folks love your comments!

      With love and light,

      Jazz ;)

    • I’m so glad you liked the article! It was a very cool experiment. Welcome to the ‘party’, Thabile!

      Now… as for where they are? They really are everywhere but I happen to know that Colorado is a very friendly state to the black women/white men mix! Another place is just outside of Boston in Framingham and here’s a few others; Marietta, GA (although not quite as progressive), Tulsa, OK and of course Austin, TX. I highly recommend doing what I did which is placing an ad with a national website or those ‘backpages’ in local papers and listing your ad under interracial dating. I think you’ll have more control vs. answering someone else’s ad. The way I see it, you have nothing to lose, right? ;)

      P.S. The pics were cute, weren’t they? Gotta love the stock photos! ;)

  50. Im a 27 yrs black woman now married to a black man. Previously in my single day I dated all races and shades. I am a mixed woman so maybe that is why I have always been open to dating outside of my race. I do notice that now in 2013 more then ever white men look at black woman more then they ever have. I believe white guys dont always like to approach sistahs because we are a different breed and have carry ourselves the opposite from white woman. I always new I wanted to marry a botha and that I did. ya know i always tell my black sistahs to stay open to all races because Black men are open to dating other races too. Love is Love.

  51. How is it that the most beautifully exotic woman on earth is perplexed that her luscious appearance is sought after by every man on earth and the death of all her male relatives is the expedient sought to attain her capture as with all the fruit of her womb? A little too esoteric for the average mind to understand? Had the Germans embraced Jazz they would have gained the one element that issued from the Egyptian Vril that made America the true land of the Ubermensch. The American racial hybrid is the causal agent of the American vigor and Motown exemplified that in music. As a Black male it must be acknowledged that many times we suffer from an over-rich experiential matrix that contributes to nature’s working to put us in balance with a tendency to put us in a state of admixture for the sake of that balance. An extremely rich life invites impoverishment as a debt to be paid. BLACK WOMENS EXTREME BEAUTY HAS RESULTED IN AN UNCANNY BESOTTING OF THE BLACK MALE. OUR OEDIPAL EXPERIENCE IS A PECULIAR SOURCE OF CREATIVE ENERGY AS WELL AS A POTENTIAL PSYCHIC HAZARD. SOMETHING I WILL ELABORATE ON IN DEPTH SOON. Celestial beauty in the Mother figure such as that of sisters either creates a giant Redwood tree of a man or a crushed existential bohemian man abandoned to nihilism. Cant wait to correspond to all my cousins of every shade. Remember race is not a real biological definition and actually has no real means of observing. Traits do not exist except in expectation. Sooner or later the “races” morph into each other anyway. And inbreeding is the cause of racial extinction if you want to use the term race. My family looks like Neopolitan Ice cream so there is no use in me espousing racial exceptionalism. But I must say that women of other races were far kinder to me when I was growing up. Sisters sometimes were supernally cruel until I completed my “process of individuation” and yes that required the embellishment that sometimes comes from outside your “race”. All Earthly creatures are interdependent and the sooner we realize that we are inextricably a part of the same Whole the sooner we will reach the existential fulfillment life has in store for us. Appreciate all living creatures, and love every brother and sister you have on every square inch of the Earth and see how lovely humankind truly is.

    • “How is it that the most beautifully exotic woman on earth is perplexed that her luscious appearance is sought after by every man on earth”… I promise you that I have been saying and feeling that way my ENTIRE life! Although thought to be taboo at the time… I’ll never forget Phillip. Cute white boy in my art class that was just too damn scared to make a move. My black ass really had a hold on him and it will forever remain in my memory! ;)

      I love your comment here! If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a friend of mine I’ve lost contact info on! The brotha was something special cuz he “over” stood a lot! ;)

      As a sista growing up in “white world” I think I can relate more than you’ll know… “Sisters sometimes were supernally cruel until I completed my “process of individuation” … I was extremely stunned by the lack of warmth I received by my own sistas too. It took my entire life to finally be with my people and lo and behold if they didn’t HATE ME! WTF? Anyway… I had to pop in and reply (didn’t have a lot of time yesterday) Cuz I can’t wait for you to expound upon “EXTREME BEAUTY HAS RESULTED IN AN UNCANNY BESOTTING OF THE BLACK MALE. OUR OEDIPAL EXPERIENCE IS A PECULIAR SOURCE OF CREATIVE ENERGY AS WELL AS A POTENTIAL PSYCHIC HAZARD.” Can’t wait, man!!! :)

      And I couldn’t agree with you more that we are ALL interdependent. Oh… and “the Germans embracing Jazz… hahaha… that’s a good one man!

      Welcome to the “party” GB (Smooth) Hey– seems to fit somehow!
      :)

      • German’s embracing jazz? Don’t be surprised if they have. Jazz has a far greater reach than you may realize, and has a large following in Europe.

        Years ago I read about German families adopting from Africa. There is that much of a shortage of adoptable babies in Europe. Because of legal hurdles, the man would go to Africa and sign the birth certificate for the baby claiming to be the biological father.

      • hahaha! Hi there, Bob!

        You are just too kind! My European following is new news to me but I LOOOVE IT!

        I took GB’s comment to reflect Nazi Germany, not today’s Germany cuz we know they weren’t digging anybody but the blonde haired, blue eyed human being back then. I think parts of Germany (only been to Frankfurt and it was THA BOMB!) has moved forward but that friggin airport is AWFUL! There’s a lady at the first area where you can have a drink and snack is crazier than that Nazi Soup guy from Seinfeld back in the day! lol If you don’t have a sandwich or a drink, she puts paid bouncers to shame! lol

  52. Heard a black woman on the phone:

    Here I am with two Bachelor’s and one Master’s degree, and I’m cleaning a white man’s home.

    Ok, I’m married to him…

  53. A black woman heard on a cell phone:

    Here I am, two bachelor’s and a master’s degree, and I’m cleaning a white man’s home.

    Ok, I am married to him…

  54. Pretty black women are the white man’s kryptonite.

    If you see a white guy staring at you and he looks like a guy you would like then just go up to him and he is yours.

    • My wife married me. Whether or not that’s positive she would have to say.

      OTOH, she does tell me she still likes me.

      And she lets me live. That’s gotta be good.

      • Sorry, it is Mayor of NYC, not governor of the state.

        Oh, yeah, it is fake, but it’s so dumb it belongs on one of those World’s Dumbest shows on TV.

        In the meantime we get to enjoy looking at a couple very happy people. And she is nice to look at.

      • Hey– no worries! I followed ya’! ;) I do wish people would wake up to the sad fact that politics is nothing but a production. I truly encourage everyone I know to watch “Hacking Democracy”. It leaves no wiggle room that it is a farce. Hell, if everything else is is a lie, what makes politics exempt?! lol

  55. I’m white and have always been attract to black women, in currently trying to bulls some thing with a beautiful woman from Uganda…..thanks for your post…darrin

  56. I like your post and agree with it. Black women are the most stunning women on this planet. There are no ugly Black women, you know? I mean, Black women are full and sexy. OK, some White guys admitted that Black ladies are strong in bed. What else do you need from a girl? Yes, they are goody. So, there are many interracial marriages between Black ladies with white men, which is common.

  57. Hey Yoy. Great piece. Just curious, what site did you put a profile on? I’ve been on AfroRomance since March ’13. Meeting a lot of beautiful, interesting, fun black women there. Dated a few, but I’m not sure I found Miss Right yet. Btw, love your political points of view. I was a 911 Truth activist in New York. We’ve got a long way to go, but the message is clearly spreading.

    Thanks!

    Tom

    • Hi there Tom! I honestly can’t remember for sure but it was through the local tv station within their personals section. I later found out that Craigslist had a romance section so I know it can be done their too. While I do say it’s an alternate way to meet people I still prefer meeting people the old fashioned way– in person. :)

      P.S. It’s good thing the message is finally spreading! I can’t tell you how many times I came close to throwing in the towel. People can really be thick-headed! (smiles)

  58. I’m a white guy from NW Europe and I met a beautiful black woman a short while ago. She was born in central Africa and she is really dark, with the nice twisted hairstyle. We get along very well and I like to be in her company.
    Physically it all seems to ‘fit’ perfectly as well, although she says that she is shy. So one evening (2nd date) we were talking about bible studies (no joke), and one hour later we knowing each other in a biblical sense. And it was her who took the most initiative!
    It’s not that I have a weakness for black women. But I have a weakness for this particular one.

  59. Hi there! I understand this is sort of off-topic but I needed to
    ask. Does operating a well-established website such
    as yours take a large amount of work? I’m brand new
    to running a blog however I do write in my diary daily.
    I’d like to start a blog so I can share my personal experience
    and feelings online. Please let me know if you have any ideas or
    tips for new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!

    • Hi there and thank you for the compliment (Does operating a well-established website such as yours take a large amount of work)?!!!

      It’s remarkably easy. I’m simply using wordress and the free templates they offer. Take the tour and you’ll see just how easy it is. The toughest part for me right now is actually finding the time to add stories! :)

      Best of luck!

      Jazz

  60. Ok, somebody say something. I miss getting msgs here. Or have we become so common place there’s nothing to talk about anymore?

    Ok, how about, add a facebook page to this?

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